I'm Really Good at English

Yesterday was a good day. It began with me going back to school for the first time since winter break. I went to one of my larger elementary schools and taught three classes of 6th graders and two classes of third graders. My 3rd graders are energetic and motivated but almost impossible to control, while my 6th graders usually lack in energy but are surprisingly willing to participate and learn something new, despite being the “big kids on campus”. In a couple of months they’ll graduate and move on to junior high school I don’t teach at (one of the few). They’re bright for the most part, with a couple of English prodigies thrown in the mix, and I often cover more material with them in one day than I do with older, “smarter” junior high school kids in a month.

After school finished, I went back to the BOE for a couple of hours and worked on a running project with the head of the General Affairs Department. The City’s in the planning stages of building a new school that’s modeled after a private school in Boston, which means I’m doing some information translation and correspondence with the American school in question on behalf of the mayor of Kaga. My day-to-day routine is great, but from time to time I need a break from parroting sports and animal vocabulary, so the chance to put my (comparatively) amazing English fluency to use and be involved in an international educational undertaking of this sort is pretty sweet.

The English expertise didn’t stop there, though. After work I went to my weekly Hippo Family Club meeting, which involves a group of people who live in the area that meet regurarly to practice language skills, including everything from Portuguese to Cantonese. There, one of the members’ daughter had brought her application to do an exchange year in an American high school. English specialist that I am, I took one look at the forms and helped them shore up their free response sections so that even the most doubt-filled cynic will have no choice but to let the daughter go to the U.S. With a little review of basic slang, and some caution on what curse words to watch out for, she should be golden.

That time of year

So with December upon us, Christmas is right around the corner...or so the department stores, malls, and remotely public venues have been telling us.   Sucker that I am, I hooked myself up with some Christmas tunes and have them playing more or less constantly in my apartment.  Surprising as it sounds, this will be the first Christmas I have ever spent away from my immediate family.  

No matter where I've been before, I always made it back home for the holidays (or at least travelled with family at the time), but this year I'll be spending my winter break with the next best thing: good friends :D.  I'm going to Hong Kong on December 23rd (the Emperor's birthday) with my Osakian buddy Takashi and then meeting up with, among others, Josh and Geoff, my dear Queen's housemates and eses for life.  It'll be a fun trip, but it would probably be even better with my family.  Miss you guys.

In the spirit of Christmas, I gave a 'Christmas in North America' lesson to several 1st grade classes at one of my junior high schools this Wednesday and Thursday, which was met with mixed responses.  One class had seemingly no interest in anything I was saying, and the teacher almost peed her pants when I said we eat mandarins (what's so funny about that...?) on Christmas Eve.  Other classes, however, were attentive and interested in how Santa gets into houses without chimneys, etc.  With a crowbar, obviously.  

At this same school, the staff room was almost overrun by a bunch of 'panic' 3rd years (age 14-15), as one teacher called them, who unlike the troubled teens back home that cut themselves or join gangs, unleash their inner hurt by harassing teachers and vice principals, kicking furniture, slamming doors, brandishing scissors, and ripping into people of authority with language that would make the character 'Bird' from The Wire wince.  

Last night some coworkers and I were invited to dinner at another coworker's place.  It was a beautifully modern house newly built this July, with a new puppy to boot.  Turns out my coworker's parents run a sashimi restaurant (or store?) so that was essentially the menu.  Combined with the 3-month puppy that felt like a stuffed toy, it was a very enjoyable evening.         

Halloween

So this Halloween was pretty eventful.  On Friday night Daniel and I took the train to Kanazawa to attend a Halloween party at APRE bar.  Daniel created a costume masterpiece--a very convincing Tanuki (a woodland creature shrouded in japanese folklore and most easily recognized by its massive balls) getup that justifiably won him 1st prize in the costume contest.  I, on the other hand, went as Daniel himself.  5 minutes of prep work--やった！

On Saturday we returned to Daishoji, where I proceeded to lose Daniel's house key...!  Feeling awful, we rushed over to his landlord's place (again--everything's really close...) and her husband replaced it with two new ones free of charge.  Good thing!

That night I participated in a children's Halloween party, which was taking place at a local english "juku", or preparatory school.  The event was organized by the head teacher there, a woman who generously took Anna and I on the tour of Kaga a couple of months back.  Anyways, the halloween setup they had there was amazing!!!  They hit the nail on the head, which was made even more impressive when contrasted with the lack of anything halloween-related anywhere else.  They had massive pumpkins, elaborate outer and inner decorations, a fully equipped haunted house, and games and activities for hours.  Along with the head teacher's husband and a couple of Daniel's high school students, we manned the haunted house and did our best to scare the crap out of kids as they went through.  

I was a vampire, and managed to scare myself a couple of times passing by mirrors, but more importantly, I scared little kids!  Yay!  It was great--they'd enter this creepy corridor after making it through about three quarters of the sufficiently creepy setup, so by the time they reached my area, there nerves would be on overdrive.  The only light in the room came from a creepy flickering neon display case of severed heads, so they wouldn't notice the black bundle parked next to the wall.  Then out of nowhere, I, the scary vampire, would pop up from under my cape with an unquenched thirst for blood, which was pretty successful.  

It was fun to watch the kids' reactions.  The organizers wisely thought to send the boys through first, who were too tough to get 'really' frightened.  No screams, just really wide eyes O_O.  Then they would recognize me and yell, "Mike-sensei!" and relax a little.  The girls on the other hand, were really freaked out, jumping and screaming at everything.  The worst was when two younger girls reached my room already in tears, so after reassuringly removing my fangs, I yelled ahead to call off the ambush at the end of the course.  Just as a side note, practically all of the kids there were my students, so I think it surprised most of them to see my darker side.  Better that they figure it out sooner rather than later.  

Afterwards there was a mummy-wrapping race, then I gave a guessing quiz on halloween words, and then there were awards for funniest, scariest, cutest, and weirdest costumes.  After it was all done, and everyone had gone home, everyone who had worked to make the party a success went out to Coco's for dinner and after pizza and quesadillas I had maybe the best sundae I've ever had.  

This morning I got up 9:30-ish and biked down to Daishoji River, where a wedding procession had just arrived from the temple for the ceremony.  It was a much-anticipated traditional wedding, and looked absolutely amazing.  Must have taken hours for everyone to get as done up as they were.  I'll post some facebook pictures.  I'd heard about it from my landlord, who will have the honour of actually hosting the wedding banquet later this evening at his restaurant.    

Driving etiquette

This may come as a bit of a surprise, but in Japan, people bow to show respect, thanks, apologize or simply to be polite. In fact, when in doubt, it’s best to bow. If someone has done something nice for you, you should probably bow. If you bump into someone accidentally, it’s a good idea to bow. If you’re alone, no one else is around, and nothing whatsoever is happening, you should probably ask yourself why you’re not bowing…and then bow.

So yeah, there’s a lot of bowing in Japan. What gets me, though, is people who bow in cars. You know how when you’re driving and someone purposefully lets you into their lane, or gives you their parking space, or unnecessarily gives you right of way, it’s usually enough to smile and wave, right? Well in Japan, people bow while seated! For example, when I get dropped off after work I usually bow and wave after I’ve exited the vehicle to thank them for driving me. At least I’m standing when I do that. To my surprise, the first time I did this, the guy who drove me bowed back, looking like he had just banged his head on the steering wheel.

While that definitely looks strange enough, my concern is that this usually happens while the vehicle is still in motion. I often see drivers bowing low, and thus completely eliminating their field of vision, while taking turns, or parking, or heading through intersections, when it seems as though a simple nod or wave would both satisfy politeness requirements and also prevent a dangerous couple of seconds during which the driver is paying maybe 5% of their attention on the car and 95% on bowing appropriately.


Also, the “dangerous” junior high school was thankfully nothing like what I expected. Yeah, the kids are kinda rough, but overall they seemed really into my English lesson and I was received really well. The first graders I taught were pretty awesome and the third graders were real awesome, using whatever English they knew to try and communicate with me inbetween classes and during lunchtime. Overall a kickass school, mostly cuz it has some actual attitude. Reminds me of my middle school a bit, actually.

The school from hell...maybe.

Ok, so this Wednesday I'm going to go to my ninth and final school. This itself wouldn't warrant any major reaction, were it not for the fairly documented instances of ALT abuse. I mean, not having been there or so much as seen anything for myself I'm not in a great position to judge, but word on the street is the kids at this unnamed junior high school have a bit of a notorious rep.

One of my predecessors here at the Board of Education apparently had it pretty rough, including vandalism to her car and physical assault. So not quite sure how it'll go, but we'll soon see just how badass these kids can be. I teach at the elementary school that feeds this junior high school, and I'd say the kids there are awesome, so maybe it was just a bad year? More to follow.

Japanese Homecoming

Last Saturday I took a trip to Fukuoka, the land of ramen, the friendly rich, and of course, the loveable Softbank Hawks baseball team. Monday was a holiday, so I took Tuesday off as well to make it an even four days. And an excellent four days they were.

I took a 5-something AM train to Kaga Onsen station, hopped on the limited express to Osaka, and then switched to the Shinkansen. It was my first time riding the famed bullet train, but all said it wasn’t that much faster than a regular express train. The service and comfort, however, was second to none.

I arrived in Fukuoka at about noon, where I was met by my host parents from two years ago, when I spent 6 weeks studying at Kyushu University. They promptly took me to an American-style diner, with American-size portions, and I had what felt like the biggest burger of my life. The diner really did its best to remain true to the real deal. The food, the music, the drinks—even the magazines were American!

That night I met up with my friend Eiko who was at Queen’s for a year studying English and who ended up subletting my apartment in Kingston for a summer. It was kinda weird—we talked about my room and my house, and she confessed just how much cleaning she had had to do to get it looking the way it did when Josh, Geoff and I got back in the fall. She was joined by her friend, also a graduate of Queen’s U. School of English, and we all went out for ramen, oh sweet sweet ramen, at a yatai (licensed street vendor) near Canal City. Yatai stalls are some of Fukuoka’s more famous dining entities. They litter the streets throughout the summer and into fall and offer local food at good prices. I’m something of a ramen lover, so having street stall-style (say that ten times fast) Hakata ramen after a 2-something year dry spell was a real treat. I won’t lie—most of what follows is simply a description of the awesome food I ate, and I think it’s fair to say that’s what this trip was really about.

The following day my host sister Maki arrived from Tokyo and together with my other host sister, Sayuri, we went out and about in Tenjin, the major shopping/eating/hanging out/karaoke-ing/fun district. It was like old times…made me miss family life. That night we went out for yaki niku (fried meat) with the whole family, including grandma, and then out to karaoke afterwards, this time excluding dad, but…still including grandma. There’s nothing quite like belting out Ne-Yo or Backstreet Boys in front of an 85-year old who you just met.

Anyway, the next couple of days were slow and relaxing. I watched a lot of Full House, some American Idol (from 2 years ago, I discovered later…), went out to Ippudo—a very famous chain of ramen restaurants that boast perhaps the best of Hakata-men, and did a bit of shopping. I bought a winter jacket in Canal City that I better be wearing for at least the next 10 years to get my money’s worth. Ice cream, too, played a prominent role in any activities that were dessert or snack-related. I made two trips to Cold Stone ice cream, if for no other reason than to hear the all-Japanese staff sing a heavily-accented “Zipadeedoodah”. Most of the trip was about quality family time, though. I was treated to almost everything we ate/did, and my host mom took no shortcuts in making me feel at home.

On Tuesday, before leaving, my host sisters and I took a three-minute stroll down the block to a humble-looking ramen establishment that was recently rated as the second best ramen restaurant in all of Japan! As one can imagine, I was more than a little excited to try it out. To my dismay, however, it was closed when we got there! Turns out they’re closed for business every Tuesday. By some miracle, though, one of the employees snuck me and my host sisters in and whipped us up some delicious lunch in his own time and without his boss' knowledge. The guy even offered to let my sis off with no charge! This coming from a place that usually has a line around the block. Since in Japan you don’t tip, we expressed our gratitude by insisting that he let us take a photo with him instead of giving us change.

Shortly afterwards I left Fukuoka to come back to Kaga, but I’ll definitely be back as soon as I can. It’s a great place, with great people, awesome weather, and…amazing food!

ゴキブリの戦争

As if life wasn't exciting enough, in recent days intelligence has revealed a noticeable step up in my domestic kitchen insurgency. Enemy activity has increased on multiple fronts including the cracks in and around the sink, fridge and burners, with a significant focus on night time raids.

That's right--I got 'roaches and I got 'em bad.

I mean, like almost every household in Japan, I knew I had some cockroaches living with me, but that can't really be helped. You just live with them knowing they're a fact of life. My kitchen, incidentally, is sealed up like Fort Knox. NOTHING gets left out for my scavenging housemates, which means closing and sealing any and all foods, putting it up out of reach, sticking it in the fridge, and cleaning the counters and sink anytime any food is prepared.

That said, I still kill a couple from time to time or see them scuttle around the vicinity of my living room, so last night I went out and bought a pack of roach traps. These ones are like little houses with some bait in the middle and a super sticky floor, so when the roach enters to try and get at the bait, it gets stuck to the floor. So I set up two of them, one on the kitchen floor near the crack between my stove and sink, and one behind the burners of the stove, where I've also discovered roach tracks.

That was last night.

This morning before heading out the door I figured I might as well check to see if I had successfully caught one in a trap. To my unprecedented horror, between the two traps that I set up more than TEN roaches had been caught, ranging in size from tiny to huge. Most of them were still alive and futilely attempting to free themselves. I instantly put the traps back and left the house in disgust.

Sealing up my house any more than it already is--with the intention of preventing entry for cockroaches--is impossible. To my knowledge they enter from and possibly live behind my sink, which is attached to the wall and inaccessible to me, the only other obvious entryway being through my toilet, which is a squat toilet and can't effectively be sealed. So tonight I'm going to set up about a dozen more traps and get some poison. I initially didn't want to use a roach hotel, because if they bring poison back to their nests, they'll die there and I'll have bug corpses in my house that I can't clean up, but given the escalation in troops on their part, picking and choosing my weapons of choice is a luxury I can no longer afford.

By the time this year is over, either me or the roaches will be dead. If it's the roaches, it'll be by traps and roach motels, and if it's me, it'll be from hepatitis or dysentery or something...

The war has begun.



Also, I've enabled anonymous posting, so even if you don't have an account but would like to articulate your disgust, you can comment.